All ready? There he goes! “Don’t miss out on a good one. Sie muss nicht klug signal. Nein, Sie muss nicht rrr-reich sein. Kein Model mit long Schritten… but dicken Titten!”
No, this is not the bawdy pub joke compilation All 13 Dreckig† This is Zeit, the eighth album by German metal band Rammstein. About half a century after slanting classics like ‘The Plum Polka’ and ‘Vader What Are Your Balls Sloshing’, our headbanging eastern neighbors are finally getting their money’s worth – K-CHING! – pouch. All hook up! “Ich bin auch gar nicht anspruchsvoll, but große Brüste were toll.” And if the scabrous metal-schlager ‘Dicke Titten’ can’t get our mom on the shelf, then ‘OK’ will certainly succeed. “Oh my God! Ohne Condom!” And don’t complain that those factory marching riffs, kitsch synthesizers and shocking Sinterkaas rhymes still sound exactly like on their 1995 debut, because then you missed the autotune in ‘Lügen’.
A version of this article also appeared in the newspaper of May 12, 2022