Mayra Cardi is right: self-love is doing what makes you feel good - 01/13/2022

Speculation of betrayal by others is refreshment for gossips eager for anything that takes away a little from the reality we live in. Therefore, the relationship of Mayra Cardi and Arthur Aguiar is a plate full of comings and goings: the marriage has already been classified as abusive by the influencer herself in one of the breakups and she has already stated that she was betrayed 16 times.

With the winds blowing Arthur will be at BBB, the subject resurfaces. Mayra and her ex are together again. And now she defends him. He even claims that men are raised by their mothers to be catchers and that’s why they behave like that, cheating on their wives. Oops, not quite. First, because it’s nobody’s mother’s fault. Second, not all guys find it impossible to curb their desire and have a respectful relationship with women. In fact, believe it or not, there are plenty of nice men out there.

“Women who meet me on the street and say: I won’t admit it, I love my husband but I won’t go back with him because I love myself. I tell her: it’s not that you love yourself, it’s that you’re proud . Because if you loved yourself, you wouldn’t be doing this to you”, she says. Pride is a really harmful feeling. But if loving is liberating: you realize that you don’t have to go through certain things just because the sex is amazing and the cuddle that comes then it’s hot. You can be alone for a while and be great.

Mayra is right when she says that having self-love is doing what you do well. The point is that self-love cannot be a hedonistic feeling, which seeks the feeling of immediate pleasure. When you return with the abuser, you experience a honeymoon period in which it is possible to deny the previous period of hell. It seems that suffering never existed. It gives a huge but unfortunately ephemeral peace – because we live in fear of everything happening again.

Self-love, I would say, is doing what makes you feel good in the long run.

But she’s had time to think, she’s chosen to forgive, and she doesn’t even have to justify—she can do whatever she wants with her life.

The abusive relationship cycle

When the influencer came to the public to say very clearly everything she suffered in the relationship, a year and a half ago, she was on the outside seeing what was happening to herself. At the height of the pain, he decided to choose the breakup. But she was feeling the weight of choice: “You love your abuser. That’s why it’s an abusive relationship. You’re not tied up, you’re not trapped, and you don’t want to break up,” she said at the time. The speech touched me deeply because when you decide to say these kinds of things out loud, it causes a change in people. No one else will look kindly on your relationship if you change your mind later, which in fact ended up happening to Mayra and Arthur.

She tried to expose the situation at the height of her pain and thus warned several women who were experiencing similar situations to free themselves — I say this because, at the time, many readers wrote to me on Instagram encouraged to break their abusive relationships after reading my story and Mayra’s. It’s really nice when that happens.

There was even a commotion in the middle of 2020 that asked what Arthur Aguiar had to attract so many women. The answer we will probably see live in the coming months.

What happened next—her deciding to get back together with the man who cheated on her—is also common for many women. It’s hard to be alone, it’s hard to end up with someone loving them, it’s almost impossible to resist the return when the man comes back regretful saying he’s changed and none of that will ever happen again – until next time.

Because of all this, the evil pools start betting that Arthur will betray Mayra again on national television. I sincerely hope not. Attacking a woman who has a child and has been living a cycle like this for so long with such public repercussions seems too cruel. It must be hard enough for her to publicly defend him to support her own decision. But since everyone’s business is gossip, looking from the outside, with self-critical eyes, seems the best solution for the little everyday situations where we face everyday abuse out of love, habit or fear of being alone. You can always learn something when you look at yourself — that’s true self-love.

You can disagree (or vent) with me not Instagram.

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