Surely you feel identified. start a new Year, which you see as a new opportunity to reinvent yourself on a personal level. Start the Gym, eat healthier, save or be more organized These are some of the resolutions you make every year.

However, once December 31 arrives, you realize that you barely fulfilled a minimum part of them. For the following year you make the same resolutions and history repeats itself: you find yourself in a vicious circle that leads you to ask yourself, what am I doing wrong?

As The Guardian portal reviews, personal reinventions, in most cases, fail for the following reasons: you set your goals too high, your existing obligations at work or at home get in your way, you demand more of yourself of what you know you can give and the last and perhaps most important of all: you refuse to accept the existing version of yourself with all its imperfections.

“In most cases, people hand over control of results to external situations and set very general goals without breaking them down into small tangible day-to-day achievements. For example, saying: ‘I will increase my reading habit this year’ is not the same as thinking ‘I will start reading 15 minutes a day, every day’”.

This is explained by the clinical psychologist Clarissa warrior, who assures that the same thing happens with diets, exercise, savings and other habitual resolutions… “It is not realistic or sustainable to go from 0 to 100, nor is it realistic to set goals that cover a lot of scope.”

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According to her, the beginning of a new year marks new cycles chronologically and symbolically for many people, which explains why at the beginning of a new cycle we are open to transformation.

“However, we cannot ignore the advertising and marketing factor that has sustained these ideas for years, since the reality is that any moment is propitious for the beginning of well-being and progress in our lives,” he maintains.

Although it is true that setting goals has its advantages, such as the fact that it serves to provide focus, improves the productivity and reinforces commitment, the problem comes when people try to force themselves to change, in order to achieve their goals.

“Forcing is rarely (or never) sustained over time. Changes must be made out of full and personal conviction, since forcing or pressuring can lead to blockage and with this obtain results completely contrary to what is sought, ”says the expert in human behavior.

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The specialists They talk about the first step to a personal reinvention it is accepting yourself flaws and all, an opinion with which Guerrero agrees. She is emphatic in saying that accepting does not imply conforming, which are terms that are often confused. “Accepting ourselves as we are is precisely taking into account our strengths and the spaces to improve that exist in us to work proactively and realistically on daily progress,” he details.

Another point to take into account, he says, is to focus on achieving personal transformation and not change. “When we talk about change, we generally refer to something radical, that happens overnight. A transformation, on the contrary, takes time, it is more real and tangible”, he points out.

It concludes by saying that transformations have spaces for setbacks that are highly anticipated in any process and are more sustainable over time, because they are motivated by intrinsic well-being rather than by external motivation, as is the case with changes.

Tips for a successful personal reinvention

The psychologist warns that the factors to take into account are different for each person. However, he says there are some general tips to keep in mind:

  • Focus on no more than three goals for the entire year. Jack of all trades, master of none.

  • Define well how that objective is going to be achieved and break it down into small steps.

  • Analyze progress and setbacks every two months and adjust along the way.

  • Allow yourself recognition for how much or how little you accomplish each month. This will serve as momentum and motivation.

  • Always work with the end in mind: why do I want what I want? How am I going to feel? What will that bring to my life? “These are key questions in moments of weakness, since immediacy can be very attractive, but the reward of a goal accomplished is invaluable,” says Guerrero.

Magazine Journalist. I am passionate about writing about mental health and relationships. If I weren’t a journalist, I’d be a psychologist with a blog.

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