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The violence It is normalized in many relationships. Despite the fact that there are behaviors that can be perceived as “normal”, many actions that are expressed daily in the conventional and conservative couple’s routine correspond to violent acts that affect self-esteem and emotional health.

Healthy couple relationships are based on love, respect and freedom. In this there is no room to hurt the other or to continually try to control or dominate, as the clinical psychologist and family therapist considers, Laura Picardo.

“Couples who maintain healthy relationships understand that each person has the freedom to express their opinion and feelings without this implying the fear that the other will reject me or invalidate my point of view,” adds the couples therapist (@lpichardo_terapeutafamiliar).

Dominance and control strategies

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The violence causes significant damage to the self-esteem and emotional health of the couple. For this reason, it is necessary to identify them so as not to fall into a state of submission and dependency, lacerating physical and emotional integrity.expand image

1. Degradation

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This strategy, according to Pichardo, seeks to reduce or lower the essential value of a person and among the behaviors that characterize it are: treating as inferior, ridiculing, humiliating, disqualifying thoughts and feelings and constantly looking for mistakes.

2. Reification

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The specialist affirms that this behavior turns the person into an object. Among her behaviors, the following stand out: depriving of basic needs, demanding obedience, denying the word, ignoring the presence of the person and making decisions unilaterally.

3. Bullying

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This occurs when fear is generated. To achieve this, they do: threats, physically assaulting, yelling, breaking and throwing things and driving recklessly.

4. Overload of responsibilities

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At this point, the therapist assures that it arises when the other person is blamed for any problem or conflict, is required to guess thoughts and needs, is overloaded with household chores, or does not participate in common tasks.

5. Deprivation

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It occurs when the possibility of satisfying basic needs is limited or reduced. Among the behaviors that characterize it are: controlling or restricting outings, sabotaging or creating uncomfortable situations, and prohibiting family and social relationships.

6. Distortion of subjective reality

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It occurs when the perception of reality is transformed. The common behaviors of this strategy are: denying value or credibility to the couple’s observations, using alternative illusion, misrepresenting, praising and humiliating, and manipulating through bad mood.

7. Defensive strategies

With this strategy, responsibility for violent behavior is shifted. Common actions to achieve this are: downplaying, deflecting the problem, emotional blackmail, denial, or “forgetting” what happened.

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Laura Pichardo (PEDRO BAZIL)

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Journalist, content creator and entrepreneur. I love to dance, travel and eat. I am passionate about writing about topics that empower and motivate people, including: travel, wellness, and sex.

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