Menopausal young, Laurence took a long time to re-tame her sex life. At 53, she tells us how she found desire and pleasure. Testimony.
“For vaginal dryness, it was vaginal dryness!”
I am one of the early menopausal women. I did not see anything coming. My hormonal IUD was hiding my period. Certainly, a few hot flashes surprised me here and there, and my mother went through menopause at 42 years old. But I wasn’t thinking about all of that. The verdict came in the year I turned 44, during a consultation with the gynecologist. I had to remove my IUD, which was up to date. Very quickly, in the absence of hormones, the symptoms appeared, and it was not simple: great fatigue, real hot flashes, thoughtlessness, less voluminous hair, and, to complete the whole, vaginal dryness. And for vaginal dryness, it was vaginal dryness! I had rather badly lived my menopause, at least the sentence. Because I was young. The shrinkage factor is important, I think it is able to accentuate the physical symptoms. I felt “out of order”, as if menopause deprived me of my femininity. Today, I am aware that it is false, but at the time, knowing that I could no longer have a baby, even though I was not thinking about it at all – I already have three children – unsettled me. .
“I felt like I was depriving us of our sex life”
As I said to my friends, with all the delicacy in the world: during sex, it looked like my husband was wandering his rod … in the sand. Sex has become unpleasant for both of us. My husband was understanding and told me that we could share caresses or even enjoy a 69 so that vaginal dryness does not get the better of us. But I felt responsible. I felt like we were depriving us of our sex life. I wanted it to be like it was before. Gradually, I no longer want to make love. Yet I have always found my husband attractive. Between vaginal dryness, the drop in hormones that probably impacted my desire and the feeling of no longer being a woman, my desire was less clear. And I didn’t like my body much: after a few months, I got belly up, I was tight in my jeans. No, definitely, nothing was right. My husband and I had always shared a pleasant intimate life, despite the ups and downs of becoming parents – you can’t do everything! – but there, everything stopped … And in the meantime, I was still so hot.
“We decided to use lubricant and that changes everything”
I wanted to try sage and soy, which are known to soothe menopausal symptoms. These natural treatments have proven to be unsuccessful. I saw my gynecologist again. She then offered to take the THM the hormone therapy for menopause. She really weighed the pros and cons as my family background was not very favorable. But it was possible and not very risky for me to take the THM until I was fifty years old. As my gynecologist said, the idea was to “compensate for what nature should have maintained until that age“. In a few weeks, I got back to fishing. I was better in my head and in my body, and we made love again “as before”. Of course, the treatment had to be stopped. The symptoms returned, but were less. At 50, finally, I accepted the menopause. I found my famous vaginal dryness, although less severe than the first time, and it was necessary to work around it. I was ready to do it because I was living the disturbance better. This is where with my husband, we decided to use lubricant, And that changes everything. I hadn’t thought about it when I was 42, but when I watched the series “Grace & Frankie”, in which a character makes a homemade lubricant from sweet potato (well, I haven’t tried…) , I clicked. At first, I was embarrassed. As soon as we caught it, I told myself that without me and my problems, we wouldn’t need them. But my husband didn’t care, and he let me know that lube could very well be part of our sexuality. Since then, we always have a bottle of intimate gel on the nightstand.
“You have to learn to find solutions without being afraid of disturbing”
Today the sex between us is more tender. We take more of our time. But it’s also related to age, well I imagine! In any case, we are once again sexually fulfilled and I have regained my self-confidence. My husband is very attentive and supported me a lot. We’ve always talked openly about our sex life and I think that’s important. Or, if we do not dare, at least to confide in friends to play down and hear that there are solutions to be sought at the pharmacy or at the doctor. I don’t regret having complained to my gynecologist several times. Finding out is the best thing to do, and for that, do not be afraid to disturb! I hope my testimony will reassure women in my situation. Sexual life does not end with menopause. On the contrary, it is reborn! I stopped the THM three years ago and now have hardly any symptoms (but always a lubricant on hand!). I also meditate, it makes me feel very good. Taking care of yourself, outside of your private life, is just as essential.